i just hid 27 of these little bastards around the house
and im waiting for my parents reaction
”WHY THE SHIT IS THERE A CHICKEN IN MY COFFEE CUP”
the first chicken has been found
“amiee we think you have a problem” my parents say as they hold 15 tiny chickens in their hands
1000 notes because i terrorized my family with small chickens
Don’t be afraid, Sarah, he just wants to ask where you got your fabulous jumper.
This guy at my school shows up every day with like a fake wolf tail clipped to his back belt loop, and I always see him running from class to class and jumping over things and he looks so happy to exist and sometimes he brings a lil wolf puppet with him and he makes it run along next to him on the strings
I’m just like u go wolf kid live ur dreams
*smells u deeply* u smell like my next friend
will give head for food
how are you gonna eat it with no head though
this is the most innocent thing i have ever seen omg.
I call this game how many pieces of uncooked spaghetti can I throw at my cat until she gets pissed off and bites me
i bet she’s spaghetting tired of your shit
I thought I should share some things I’ve collected
Edit: woah you guys really liked this so I made a part 2: x
"What’s a passport, Doctor?"
The Doctor, never respectful of officialdom, in The Faceless Ones - season 4 - 1967
my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such
then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud
I’m sure that’s what he thought.
now why is platonic cuddling so frowned upon in society fuck you man if i wanna cuddle my bff i will fucking cuddle my bff youll need a fucking crowbar to pry me off you son of a bitch